In a world obsessed with positivity and self-restraint, anger often gets a bad reputation. It's the emotion we’re taught to suppress, sideline, or feel ashamed of. But according to Dr. Juli Fraga, a seasoned psychologist and emotions-focused therapist with over 20 years of experience, anger isn’t a character flaw—it’s a vital, often misunderstood emotional signal.
In a recent report by CNBC Make It, Dr. Fraga explains how emotionally intelligent individuals don’t avoid anger. Instead, they build a relationship with it—transforming it from a reactive force into a resource for growth, clarity, and advocacy.
Naming the Fire Within
Have you ever swallowed your anger just to “keep the peace”? Maybe at work, you’ve nodded through unfair criticism or brushed off a colleague's passive-aggressive jab. It’s a common coping mechanism—but one that can do more harm than good. Suppressing anger repeatedly, Fraga says, is linked to increased irritability, guilt, and even depression.
Emotionally aware individuals choose to name their emotion rather than bottle it up—a practice psychologists call “affect labeling.” Simply acknowledging “I feel angry” can defuse the emotional charge by calming the brain’s limbic system. It’s the first step toward understanding what your anger is trying to tell you.
Speak, Don’t Shout
Slammed doors and sharp words might feel cathartic in the moment, but they rarely lead to resolution. “Emotionally intelligent people don’t unleash their rage,” Dr. Fraga notes. “They use anger as an instrument, not a weapon.”
At work, this could mean addressing a slight with calm honesty rather than brooding or retaliating. Fraga offers simple conversation starters like, “I’d like to talk with you about something that upset me,” or “I felt angry when…” These open the door to dialogue, rather than destruction.
Own Your Response, Not Their Behavior
“Taking responsibility for your anger means focusing on what’s within your control,” says Fraga. You can’t force an apology from your boss or make a toxic colleague more considerate. But you can choose how to respond.
Sometimes, that might mean walking away for a breather, calling a friend, or taking a quiet moment in nature. Such acts aren’t escapes—they’re tools of empowerment that help you return to the situation grounded, not reactive.
When Anger Becomes Advocacy
Anger can also be an agent of change. “Historically, anger has fueled societal transformation,” Fraga points out. Whether it’s injustice in the workplace or issues of economic inequality, your frustration can be redirected into constructive action.
Volunteering, donating, or simply speaking up in support of change can turn personal emotion into collective good. The act of engaging with others who share your passion can be healing in itself, reminding you that you're not alone in your outrage.
A Guide, Not a Curse
“Anger isn’t a critic—it’s a teacher,” Fraga reminds us. The trick is not to judge yourself for feeling it. Ask instead, “What is my anger trying to tell me?” Perhaps it’s highlighting a broken boundary, an unsustainable workload, or a wound from your past.
Listening to that message might lead you to quit a toxic job, end an unhealthy friendship, or seek therapy. When used wisely, anger becomes a compass—pointing not toward chaos, but clarity.
A New Relationship with Anger
For many, especially in high-pressure environments like corporate offices or demanding creative fields, anger is either feared or weaponized. Dr. Fraga’s approach is a refreshing alternative—one that encourages us to sit with our anger, understand it, and act on it with intention.
Her therapeutic work, as noted on her website, draws on mindfulness and psychodynamic theory to help clients process deep emotional wounds. In her view, embracing anger isn’t just about emotional release—it’s a path to emotional intelligence and self-empowerment.
So the next time anger bubbles up—whether during a difficult meeting or a personal conflict—don’t silence it. Let it speak. Then choose what to do with its message. Because in the hands of the emotionally wise, anger isn’t destruction. It’s direction.
In a recent report by CNBC Make It, Dr. Fraga explains how emotionally intelligent individuals don’t avoid anger. Instead, they build a relationship with it—transforming it from a reactive force into a resource for growth, clarity, and advocacy.
Naming the Fire Within
Have you ever swallowed your anger just to “keep the peace”? Maybe at work, you’ve nodded through unfair criticism or brushed off a colleague's passive-aggressive jab. It’s a common coping mechanism—but one that can do more harm than good. Suppressing anger repeatedly, Fraga says, is linked to increased irritability, guilt, and even depression.
Emotionally aware individuals choose to name their emotion rather than bottle it up—a practice psychologists call “affect labeling.” Simply acknowledging “I feel angry” can defuse the emotional charge by calming the brain’s limbic system. It’s the first step toward understanding what your anger is trying to tell you.
Speak, Don’t Shout
Slammed doors and sharp words might feel cathartic in the moment, but they rarely lead to resolution. “Emotionally intelligent people don’t unleash their rage,” Dr. Fraga notes. “They use anger as an instrument, not a weapon.”
At work, this could mean addressing a slight with calm honesty rather than brooding or retaliating. Fraga offers simple conversation starters like, “I’d like to talk with you about something that upset me,” or “I felt angry when…” These open the door to dialogue, rather than destruction.
Own Your Response, Not Their Behavior
“Taking responsibility for your anger means focusing on what’s within your control,” says Fraga. You can’t force an apology from your boss or make a toxic colleague more considerate. But you can choose how to respond.
Sometimes, that might mean walking away for a breather, calling a friend, or taking a quiet moment in nature. Such acts aren’t escapes—they’re tools of empowerment that help you return to the situation grounded, not reactive.
When Anger Becomes Advocacy
Anger can also be an agent of change. “Historically, anger has fueled societal transformation,” Fraga points out. Whether it’s injustice in the workplace or issues of economic inequality, your frustration can be redirected into constructive action.
Volunteering, donating, or simply speaking up in support of change can turn personal emotion into collective good. The act of engaging with others who share your passion can be healing in itself, reminding you that you're not alone in your outrage.
A Guide, Not a Curse
“Anger isn’t a critic—it’s a teacher,” Fraga reminds us. The trick is not to judge yourself for feeling it. Ask instead, “What is my anger trying to tell me?” Perhaps it’s highlighting a broken boundary, an unsustainable workload, or a wound from your past.
Listening to that message might lead you to quit a toxic job, end an unhealthy friendship, or seek therapy. When used wisely, anger becomes a compass—pointing not toward chaos, but clarity.
A New Relationship with Anger
For many, especially in high-pressure environments like corporate offices or demanding creative fields, anger is either feared or weaponized. Dr. Fraga’s approach is a refreshing alternative—one that encourages us to sit with our anger, understand it, and act on it with intention.
Her therapeutic work, as noted on her website, draws on mindfulness and psychodynamic theory to help clients process deep emotional wounds. In her view, embracing anger isn’t just about emotional release—it’s a path to emotional intelligence and self-empowerment.
So the next time anger bubbles up—whether during a difficult meeting or a personal conflict—don’t silence it. Let it speak. Then choose what to do with its message. Because in the hands of the emotionally wise, anger isn’t destruction. It’s direction.
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