You can only assume and everyone connected with his new film have lost their collective minds. Because it is hard to know where to start with even the trailer for Jafaican.
In it – I kid you not – stars as a Londoner called Gary ‘Gazza’ Buckle, who , wears a dreadlock wig and, yes, lampoons the Jamaican accent throughout.
Buckle is a fraudster attempting to con his way to raising £35,000 in 21 days. Quite the Mysterious Girl singer convinced himself that an hour and 38 minutes of demeaning, harmful stereotypes about any race in the year 2025 would be appropriate is beyond anyone with even half a brain.
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How on earth was it even greenlit without a serious conversation around the tropes and how they could be interpreted?
The movie is set to premiere at the Gold Coast Film Festival (GCFF) on May 9.
But the person who sat in a meeting, listened to him sounding like Ali G and said “Yep, they’ll love that. Take my money. I’ll fund it!” will probably be keeping their head down on the night.
The title, Jafaican, comes from a derogatory term used for non-Caribbeans trying to speak a fake version of Jamaican patois.
You’ll probably have to watch the trailer twice because you won’t be able to believe it the first time.
No wonder 52-year-old Andre, or someone in his circle, quietly pressed the delete button on social media after posting the promotional video and sparking an avalanche of anger.
He is of Greek Cypriot heritage, loud and proud. Rightly so.
Would he have done a movie besmirching that culture in the same way? You’d suggest not.
And don’t kid yourself that Andre’s film gets a pass because they recruited a British Nigerian, Fredi Nwaka, to write and direct it. Fredi is respected and so much better than this. He has the awards and the body of work to prove it. He is in many ways an inspiration, having overcome difficult childhood circumstances to become a creative force.
Defending the movie, the GCFF told Britain’s biggest Black newspaper, The Voice: “Jafaican reflects the authentic linguistic and cultural backdrop of the communities in which both Peter Andre and Fredi Nwaka grew up in.”
The trailer, however, leaves you fearing you’re trapped in a time machine, spinning you back to the Eighties.
Andre has been on a blocking spree on social media, drawing the curtains on any critics who dares take justified umbrage.
He’ll probably pop up somewhere predictable on TV, suggesting he is being unfairly maligned.
And, as ever with artists with anything resembling a profile, he probably has lackeys around him telling him to take no notice, suggesting his critics are probably haters.
No, Peter, the critics are actually being the friends you need in your life. The kind of people who would probably have heard 10 seconds of the pitch and said: “Nah, he isn’t going anywhere near that.”

Andre is a talented man who could easily have turned his hand to so many other things, serious things, maybe even comedy written by somebody living in the 21st Century. Maybe Jafaican emerged from a 4am kitchen chat with a few mates with all of them suffering the effects of a few too many drinks.
Maybe it was a favour for a mate who doesn’t care about blowing up the friendship.
Because to say that it has gone down like a lead balloon here in the UK is a massive understatement.
Good luck when it goes on general release out in the Caribbean next month. It’s a fair bet there won’t be a sequel.
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