Fresh Meat star shares mental health struggles after birth triggered OCD episode

star opened up on dealing with her "darkest thoughts" after the birth of her son triggered her OCD. The 39-year-old actress said she spent a long time "fighting" her brain and hating it, especially after she was diagnosed with perinatal OCD, which saw her "lights switch out" the moment her and husband Cai Howells' baby was born.

She said she was "absolutely terrified" she would do something wrong, whether it was "accidentally", "on purpose" or "against her will". The Angus, Thongs and Perfect Snogging star appeared on the Hidden 20% podcast and said: "My mind got flooded with the darkest thoughts you could think, it was kind of A Clockwork Orange in my mind, seeing the darkest things you could do."

READ MORE:

Kimberley continued: "And then you bring in a baby, and what if any of [the dark thoughts] happened to him?" When asked for an example, she revealed that every simple worry in her head would lead to her baby dying.

For example, she would worry that wrapping baby Theodore in a blanket could overheat him and kill him. She had similar thoughts about feeding, sleeping and more.

After providing candid examples of her thoughts, she explained the process, which was "a thought popping in, me latching on to it, me trying to analyse it, what does it mean? How can I stop it from coming true? Ok, I sort of stopped it from coming through in the real but did I want it to come true within me?"

She added: "What does this mean for who I am? Am I a secret serial killer and I don't know it? Am I a malicious, awful person who wants to hurt children?"

After giving birth, Kimberley opened up about her mental health struggles and admitted she felt like she was "losing her mind". Along with a selfie of her crying, she said she begged for help and is angry that she became so isolated.

Uploading the lengthy caption to alongside the snaps, she opened up in a bid to help others - and get a better understanding of post-natal depression. Kimberley wrote: "This picture was taken two years ago almost to the day. I had been forced to take a shower. I couldn't stop crying.

"My baby was three-months-old. I didn't understand what was happening to me - I thought I'd lost my mind/myself/my life and I didn't know WHY?! I think I took this photo in a moment of hope that in a few weeks' time, I would be 'normal' again and this would be a funny memory. Remember those mad baby blues?!

"It wasn't baby blues. It was a severe post-natal mental health condition." She went on to explain that she is now in a much better place. "Two years later, I'm a different person. I've learned so much. I've come to understand so much," she went on.

"But I'm still so angry that when I needed help, begged for help, it wasn't there. I was made to feel more isolated and 'other' than I already did and that sent me in a downward spiral because it reinforced my thinking that I was beyond help.

"I wasn't. I had a highly treatable, highly understandable condition as a reaction to my traumatic birth during pandemic conditions but no one told me that.

"And I won't shut up about it until things change. You're not broken, you're not a bad mum, you're not beyond help - you just don't have the correct information yet. I'm also angry that when you search a postnatal hashtag - it's all about getting as skinny as possible as soon as possible."

*If you are struggling with mental health, you can speak to a trained advisor from Mind mental health charity on 0300 123 3393 or email

Follow Mirror Celebs on , , , , , and .

READ MORE: