In times of strife we need celebrities to bring glamour, joy and fun into our lives. Step forward Mariah Carey, who, wearing the most over-the-top fur coat possible, declares she doesn't do ageing. Asked how she deals with getting older by Harper's Bazaar UK, the self-confessed diva replied: "I don't allow it - it just doesn't happen. I don't know time. I don't know numbers. I do not acknowledge time."
It seems indelicate to mention it but the hugely successful singer is 56-year-old though, to be fair, she really doesn't look it. With her glossy mane, wrinkleless skin and eyelashes that resemble an independent life form that could escape at any minute, she is quite unlike many women her age. But as Carey was being delightfully bonkers, Gary Neville was giving us his latest Big Thoughts about the state of the nation. It turns out the footballer-turned-pundit is a bit miffed the government has put up taxes on businesses.
Neville is a property developer and entrepreneur who has built a very successful empire, so it's no surprise Labour's hated jobs tax is hitting him hard. What is a surprise is that he appears shocked by this. After all, Neville and Keir Starmer took a long stroll through the Lake District for a glossy pre-general election video. The Labour Party billed it as an "emotional" encounter and pumped it out to win votes.
In the video, Neville told Starmer his grandparents had a small business and Labour's reputation for putting up taxes "went through my childhood". Starmer replied by explaining "you have to show people what a secure economy means", and that people need to be able to "trust" Labour, which was why he would be making Rachel Reeves Chancellor.
A year later and Neville is not happy. He says the economy is "not settling" and Reeves should not have hit businesses with a National Insurance hike.
"I honestly don't believe that, to be fair, companies and small businesses should be deterred from employing people," he told Sky News. "So, I think the National Insurance rise was one that I feel probably could have been held back."
A bad case of buyers remorse for Neville but, deep down, you'd have thought he already knew Labour were going to put up taxes on businesses - because that's what they have done always and it's why he asked Starmer about it. So it's a bit galling of him to moan now that his businesses are taking a hit - a year after telling the nation to vote Labour.
A socialist in principle but not in practice, it would seem. Surely he is pleased his businesses will pay more tax to fund a bigger state? But Neville is the kind of celebrity who likes to wade into politics, criticising the Tories for "demonising" striking workers. Though so far he's been silent on the current battle with junior doctors.
He also used a pre-match chat during the 2022 World Cup to slam Qatari working conditions as "abhorrent". But still took their cash to commentate for state broadcaster BeIN. Challenged on Have I Got News for You, Neville insisted: "My view always has been, you either highlight the issues and challenges in these countries, and speak about them, or you basically don't say anything and stay back home, and don't go. And I've always said we should challenge them."
Panellist Ian Hislop was having none of it. He told Neville: "There's another option: you stay at home and highlight the abuses. You don't have to go and take the Qataris' money... It's just not a very good defence."
But Neville is one of those modern celebrities - invariably leftwing - who feel the need to tell the world about their politics. To show that, despite their wealth and fame, they really care about the rest of us. It's just a shame they don't think it through first.
Even Carey occasionally allows herself a brush with reality, leaving the world of doves and puppies to have a dalliance with the grubby world of politics. The singer joined celebrity endorsements of Joe Biden in 2020, a man who was so fragile by the end that his wife, Jill, cheered him at a public rally because he "knew all the facts".
When celebrities use politics as a way of promoting their personal brand, it never ends well. Comedian Ricky Gervais is a rarity in showbusiness, a man who knows the public cannot bear a cosseted celebrity lecturing them from on high.
In his final stint as Golden Globes host, he warned the crowd of A-listers collecting awards: "Don't use it as a platform to make a political speech. You're in no position to lecture the public about anything."
Neville is the latest star to prove him spot on.
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